It’s not always easy, but that’s Life!
Aug 30, 2021

Life has plenty of seconds of delight, satisfaction, disappointment, success, failure and problems. There is no human on this earth who can say “My life is so easy”. Every person faces difficulties & obstacles in life, sometimes life-altering, events as well. These events might include the loss of a job, a serious illness, the death of a loved one, a natural disaster or other situations that bring unwanted changes. Some can even be traumatic.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately and it has caused me to think through a number of questions:

Is life actually meant to be hard or are we getting a raw deal?

Do other people find life as hard as you do?

Do you hope that life will get easier someday?

What do you think? Is your life getting hard day by day? Have you been conditioned to believe that life is a struggle?

I believe that your life is the sum total of your thoughts and beliefs about life. If you were taught that life will be a struggle, every experience you have will be framed within this thinking. Instead of being open-minded about what life throws at you, you will automatically be expecting bad things to happen. Of course bad things do happen but we can pre-empt negative occurrences, expecting them to occur.

There are a lot of Self care Myths we have -

  1. I need to be productive
  2. I shouldn’t feel (grief, anger, sad, confusion)
  3. I don’t need self care
  4. We shouldn’t tell the kids anything

We usually tend to forget that we need breaks too, it’s totally okay to not be productive, to take breaks wherever you feel like, to indulge ourselves in hobbies and activities which we like doing. And it’s totally okay to feel sad, numb, empty. It’s just a phase of life we often come across with a lot of ups and downs, sometimes we feel very excited but have you ever questioned yourself for being too excited? I believe not, then why do we start questioning ourselves for feeling too low, confused and sad.

Example -

When we were in school, our teacher first taught us that 3+3 = 6, and then she taught multiplication, division, square root, cube root, etc, but we didn’t go to the teacher asking why she is making it difficult day by day.

Similarly,

In life whenever we have some problems we start asking why god is doing this to me and start crying about it.

Because in the former we accept and expect it to be difficult whereas in later we don’t accept and expect it to be difficult.

In school if we come across any problem we discuss it with friends, similarly in life also we have to learn patience, ability to cope, ability to handle difficult people rather we start crying and getting frustrated and angry about it.

Whenever you feel frustrated or angry about anything, the first question you should ask yourself is can you do something about it? And if the answer is no then forget it and let go.

Try to think what is under your control, have you not faced any problems before, you did face problems but you navigate through that.

Think about the strategies you took to cope up with those challenges.

There is a very powerful line from the “Serenity Prayer” -

“God, give me grace to accept with serenity

the things that cannot be changed,

Courage to change the things

which should be changed,

and the Wisdom to distinguish

the one from the other.”

Here is what you can do whenever you think life is getting difficult and you start feeling stress and frustrated -

  • Use time wisely — do things you always wanted to do
  • Get organised
  • Help people when you can
  • Entertain yourself
  • Sleep well
  • Keep your mind active — read, write, play games
  • Relaxation techniques
  • Evade paranoia
  • Don’t discriminate
  • Relaxation techniques — deep breathing

And show that if life is tough then you’re tougher than this!

Written By

Shivangi Bhardwaj